By M. Coyaud
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Extra resources for Les langues dans le monde chinois, tome 1
It struck me that my mother had just made a concession which must have been painful to her, that it was a first step down from the ideal that she had formed of me, and that for the first time she, with all her courage, had to confess herself beaten. It struck me that if I had just scored a victory it was over her; that I had succeeded, as sickness or sorrow or age might have succeeded, in relaxing her will, in altering her judgment; that this evening opened a new era, must remain a black date in the calendar.
SW 23) He speaks, for example, of the “hours of anguish which I should have to spend, that evening, alone in my room, without the possibility of going to sleep,” and of the “terrifying abyss that yawned at my feet”(SW 19). He writes of the “hateful staircase” he must climb, unkissed, as if to a dungeon or to a tower cell (21), and which reeks of a “special quality of sorrow,” rendering it even “more cruel to my sensibility” (22). He speaks of an “anguish” that is “insidious and brutal . . poisonous” (22): as toxic as the fresh varnish that invades his nostrils and lungs.
The object of Marcel’s desire is inherently fugitive, even when being kissed, which affords no “clearer idea of the taste of the rose of his desire” (979). Every attempt to possess the Other not only reinforces the Other’s independence, but intensifies the self’s dependence upon the Other. Possessive desire commences by seeking to increase the dependence of the Other upon the self, but ends by achieving the precise opposite: the increased dependence of the self upon the Other. Possessive desire defeats its own purpose—perhaps because its hidden agenda is not possession of the Other, but of the self; its real objective is not communion with the Other, but to either convert the Other into a function of the self, or to use the Other’s rejection of the self as a further impetus to self-assertion through a deeper engagement of the self with the self.
Les langues dans le monde chinois, tome 1 by M. Coyaud