By Paul Nardizzi
Don't you hate it for those who inform a few ignoramus you are from a undeniable urban and so they say, "Oh, have you learnt my pal Henry?" Or, awful reward givers who say, "I stored the receipt, to be able to go back it," so rather than a present you find yourself with an additional errand? good, so does slapstick comedian Paul Nardizzi. 602 purposes to Be Ticked Off is his pointed reaction to the issues to be at liberty approximately sequence. classified by way of subject, the publication good points greater than six hundred quick-hit anecdotes on issues that individuals do this grate on our collective nerves. Like people who smoke who blow smoke on your face simply because they recognize they're destructive their lungs, so why no longer carry alongside a number of hostages? even if it is a kind of person-such as law enforcement officials, postal employees, or the elderly-or an tense circumstance-like riding, air shuttle, marriage, or activity interviews-Nardizzi has had it as much as the following (place hand palm-down six inches over head). The e-book deals a hilarious mixture of proven-funny strains from his stand-up act as...
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Extra info for 602 Reasons to Be Ticked Off
Some asinine zit head driving off in the car that you were underneath working on. When you’re already doing at least forty miles over the speed limit and some zipperhead behind you gives you the high beams, apparently because you don’t have flames shooting out of your tailpipe. Ramming into the back of a car because you were trying to read a bumper sticker that says HIT ME, I NEED THE MONEY. When you barely tap the fender of another car and the phony driver falls out his door and starts clutching his neck, back, and ass.
Popping a champagne cork and half the booze ends up in the rug. Your spouse catching you sucking alcohol out of the carpet. Weather scientists insisting that there will be another ice age in a billion years, yet the next day’s forecast is still up in the air. Squeezing the front brakes of a bike and going headfirst over the handlebars, and because your feet are strapped to the pedals, the bike stays adhered to your ass and pile drives your skull to the pavement. Debating evolution with a jaw-jutted, head-scratching moron who insists man didn’t descend from apes.
Skuzzbags borrowing your novels, then returning them with notes in the margins and yellow highlighter marks all over the place. Mushbrains borrowing a book and reading it in a steaming hot tub, then returning it as if you’re ever going to be able to peruse the mildewed stack of deformed pulp again. ” Never getting the chance to jump your neighbor from behind and beat him senseless with your shoe. Dimwitted klutzheads who stand right in front of a TV and fiddle with the antenna when the reception was already perfect to begin with.
602 Reasons to Be Ticked Off by Paul Nardizzi